February 3, 2026
Why Self-Talk Matters More Than You Think My niece, Olivia (Livy), had never run track before. It was her freshman year in high school. She was 14, nervous, and brand new to the sport when her coach entered her in the 500-meter dash—an event that requires a certain level of endurance and strategy. She started off well, but in the last 100 meters, her legs gave out. Her body folded. She collapsed in front of everybody. She wanted to quit—right there on the track. But her parents didn’t let her. They didn’t yell. They didn’t shame her. They simply stood by her side and reminded her: you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to finish. And that moment became a turning point. When I interviewed her for this article, she admitted, “I didn’t want to do the 500 again, but I did. And I actually won my heat the next time!” More importantly, she learned the power of perseverance—and of shifting her mindset. When her teammates doubted her after that race, calling her slow and dismissing her potential, she could’ve internalized those words. Instead, she used them as fuel. She tuned out distractions, blocked out drama, and got focused. She discovered field events—long jump, triple jump, and eventually high jump. And as she put in the work, she began reaping the rewards. By the end of her freshman year, Livy had: Broken the freshman record at her school for high jump, long jump, and triple jump. Been ranked #2 all-time in the 300m at her school. Won the National New Balance Championship for the high jump at 5’5¼”—setting her school’s all-time record in girls’ track and field. In her sophomore year, she: Won third place in the Maryland State Championships for high jump. Earned a #1 ranking in Maryland for indoor track and top 50 nationwide in high jump. Was featured in the local newspaper for her achievements. When I asked what kept her going, she said plainly: “My parents not letting me quit when it got hard. That’s what made the difference.” And as her mindset grew, so did her confidence. “At first, people talked about me. Said I was slow. Now, I’m the fastest girl on the team.” Her definition of mental toughness? “Doing what you need to do, even when you don’t feel like it—and staying focused on how you want it to turn out.” Her mantra? “The storm will pass. Don’t give up because God won’t give up on you.” The Way We Talk to Ourselves Shapes Everything Our internal dialogue doesn’t just influence our mood—it determines how we handle setbacks, how we move through pressure, and how we treat ourselves when we’re not at our best. When your inner voice is hypercritical and negative, it becomes a barrier between you and your potential. But when it’s grounded in grace, compassion, and curiosity, it can become a lifeline. There’s a common misconception that being kind to ourselves means letting ourselves off the hook. But true compassion isn’t about avoiding accountability—it’s the courage to sit with hard things without letting them take over. It’s important to understand that failure is not a reflection of your worth. Failure is an event—not an identity. And as Adrienne M. Somerville says, “Failure is a data point for you to course correct.” When you learn to see failure that way, everything changes. Some of the most powerful growth comes not from getting it right, but from getting it wrong—and deciding to keep going anyway. So instead of saying I failed, try saying: “That didn’t go the way I hoped—but I’m not done.” “What can I learn from this?” “Where is there room for growth?” These shifts in self-talk make more of a difference than we realize. They create room for self-trust to grow—and with that trust, resilience becomes your default, not an afterthought. The companies that understand the power of mindset and emotional safety tend to outperform their peers. Google, for example, has built a culture where “fast failure” isn’t just accepted—it’s expected. Through their research initiative, Project Aristotle , they found that the most effective teams weren’t the ones with the most talent or experience. They were the ones where people felt safe. Safe to speak up, take risks, and fail without fear. That kind of safety fuels innovation, creativity, and connection. What Leaders and Mentors Can Do If you’re in a position of leadership, you’re also shaping the inner voices of the people around you—whether you realize it or not. When you see someone on your team struggling, pause before jumping into performance mode. Instead, consider asking: “How can I support you in this moment? What feels heavy right now? What do you need to feel steady again?” Show your team what it means to value progress over perfection. Honor the courage it takes to keep showing up, even when the outcome isn’t certain. And when they stumble, remind them: this isn’t failure—it’s proof that they’re learning and growing. The best leaders don’t just point to the finish line. They walk people through the doubts and the detours—and help them tap into the voice inside that says, Keep going. You’ve got this. Watching my niece, Livy, rise after that fall didn’t just make me proud—it inspired me. She could’ve let that moment define her. But instead, she let it shape her into someone stronger and more sure of who she’s becoming. She learned to replace “I want to quit” with “I’m growing through this.” No matter your age, title, or track in life, the way you talk to yourself matters. Whether you're leading a team, taking a leap, or simply trying to stay afloat in a tough season, your words create your reality. So if you’ve stumbled lately…you haven’t failed. You’re learning. And your comeback? It doesn’t start with more pressure. It starts with a new story. The one you choose to tell yourself. - -- If you're looking to build a workplace where your team feels grounded, supported, and equipped to grow— Soul Therapy Media delivers. We help organizations bring more soul and joy into how they show up—internally and externally through intentional branding, inspired events, and corporate wellness experiences that energize teams and build cultures people love to be a part of. Reach out: connect@soultherapymedia.com